Neighbors

I have an interesting neighbor. To illustrate: I gave her some cake. The next day she thanked me for the cake and apologized that she hadn't given my plate back. "Well," I told her, "that's okay it was paper." She replied, "Oh, no wonder I couldn't wash it." Can you imagine her scrubbing it and then trying to figure out how she was going to get it to me just like new?

This week I ordered some unmentionables from Victoria Secret. It just so happens that the few hours I was gone on Tuesday it came. My neighbor also decided this was a good week for her to start accepting packages for us. I was a little worried about this but thought, meh, what are the chances it'll show up at the same time she is snooping on us? Well. It happened. She was watching for us to come home on Tuesday. We hardly got out of the car before she'd opened her door and said, "Don't worry, I didn't try it on." Whaaaa?  I'm having images of this 50 year old woman opening up my package and trying on that lingerie...I'm speechless. In the mean time she's said it again this time laughing, "I didn't try it on." What do I say? She started handing me the package so I decide to roll with it and say, "Thanks! My Victoria Secret package!" Her eyes got big and arms retracted so she could survey the package one more time before she handed it to me. This is when I realized she had no idea it was lingerie. She handed me the package and and nervously laughed. "Oh haha. I can't wear that stuff." When the package was finally in my hands I noticed, it didn't say Victoria Secret anywhere on it. Just a VS above the return address. I don't know who was more embarrassed. Poor Stephan had to listen to her carry on about why she "can't wear that stuff" after that. We were faster at ending that conversation with her than any other.